The Bridge to Nirvana

Is Filled with Potholes and Porcupines

In case that’s not incentive enough, the whole crossing the bridge thing is not a ‘one and done’ kind of event either. You have to cross it several times a day, at least, if you want to experience Nirvana.

And by Nirvana I don’t even mean some ecstatic, blissed out dream state, usually reached with pharmacological help. I simply mean peace of mind– that clear, calm, grateful space in which love, forgiveness and acceptance reside– also usually requiring help, as in large amounts of wine, chocolate or time alone at a spa.

Getting there without external assistance is, how to say, challenging.

Comfort zones and coping mechanisms are a bitch to give up.

This past June, for anyone not a regular reader, our family embarked on and successfully completed The Whole 30, a month-long, whole-foods based healthy eating plan that did not include chocolate, bread, pizza, beer, ice cream, cheese or happiness.

After many bouts of anger, resentment, disgust and flat-out depression, we adjusted. And in the end it was so transformational, Joe and I are still doing it (minus the abstinence from alcohol, movie popcorn and occasionally ice cream).

Giving up beloved foods and drink we thought made us happy was hard.

But that was nothing compared to the emotions hiding behind them.

And you can’t exactly give up sadness and anger.

In fact, often, the only way to Nirvana is through the bumpy low potholes of sadness and the prickly sharp hairball of anger.

So, as a family, our fun little initiative for August is being grateful for the seemingly bad stuff because it is the only way to get to the good. Not to mention it is always filled with super important life lessons that make the good even better.

We are calling it the Whole 30 for Mind, Heart and Spirit.

We figured why stop at our body? Why not engage in nutrient-dense thoughts, emotions and energy? Why not try to clean up the way we think and feel? It’s not about naïve positivity or false happiness.

It is about being grateful. For everything. The good AND the bad.

It’s about building a bridge to inner peace so we can visit it every now and then. And being confident we know how to get there. And not being afraid of falling into the potholes or being stabbed to death by porcupines.

Below is our shorthand plan for anyone looking to complicate their last month of summerJ…

WHOLE 30 Days of Mind, Heart and Spirit

Focus on nutrient-dense, healthy thoughts, feelings and energy for the month of August so that we can create healthy behaviors and habits that nourish our wellbeing and happiness. What does this mean? And how will we do it?

NO to NEGATIVITY and FEAR

NO to feelings without brakes like worry, anxiety, complaining and negativity.

Why is it bad? Like potato chips or M&M’s it is really hard to stop binging on them! How can we change it? See beyond problems or outside circumstances into what we desire. What we DO want. What we DO have. What we CAN do.

NO to thinking based in fear or lack.

Why? It blocks our ability to celebrate all the goodness right in front of us.

How? Delay is not denial! Just because something doesn’t happen exactly WHEN WE WANT IT TO does not mean it won’t. In fact, maybe it isn’t happening TO HELP US… because we are supposed to learn something or grow in some way that will help us. FEAR is future thinking based on past experience. And LACK is simply looking in the wrong direction.

NO to energy spent hiding or running from anger or sadness.

Why? When we avoid these honest clean emotions we usually cover them up with secondary dirty emotions like resentment, impatience, pouting, or intolerance.

How? We take the time to figure out what is going on. We sit with it and talk about it until we are able to release it.

YES to GRATITUDE and RECEPTIVITY

YES to being grateful.

Being grateful for all the things we love and have in our life. AND for all the things we don’t have. AND for all the circumstances and situations that appear bad. Believing they are all there for our highest good.

What does this require? Trusting, truly, that the universe has our back. That it is conspiring to help us if we are willing to cooperate.

AND being willing to celebrate. A lot. Not just at birthday parties but for an amazing friendship, a kind email, one beautiful hydrangea bloom, a ripe tomato, waggy dog tail– anything and everything.

YES to being receptive.

Being open to whatever comes across your day. Whatever beauty, pain, opportunity or sadness enters your life. This requires seeing the world not as happening as TO you but FOR you.

A world inviting you to participate in your own development.

This involves a fundamental shift from being a consumer of the world to becoming a co-creator with the world.

We are asking ourselves three questions every morning.

How can I grow?

How can I give?

What can I celebrate?

And every night, we share what we’ve learned.