Good News!!!

GOOD NEWS!!!

Getting ready to feel like sh*& that everyone’s Holiday cards will look better than yours? The people will be happier. You know that inside glow you just can’t fake? And they will all look more attractive and relaxed and have picked a better font and layout. Some with a glorious accordion five-fold spread? Across which they will have jotted a personallized note in metallic silver pen???

Good News!

All the Christmas cards are terrible. Everyone gained 20 pounds. And they are wrinkly messes. The children too, unfortunately. You can see right through their fake smiles to that “Smile like you mean it!” yelling that happened seconds before. So, they’d only ruin your beautiful pristine fridge.

Feel like you are either crying, yelling, wrapping, working or running on a treadmill all the time lately? Like you are run down, have a cold antibiotics can’t help, haven’t bought any teacher gifts and not sure when that’s going to come together? That you will miss ALL the holiday joy just in time for the marathon haul to spring? AND everyone seems to have gone away for Thanksgiving and come back tan???

Good news!

They did. BUT they will be wrinklier than you in the spring. AND they had to be with their in-laws the WHOLE time. AND the stress of it all, completely ruined the seven day detox they did before going so they are actually worse off in every way. AND, although there are no antibiotics to help you, agave tequila is made from plants so it’s kind of its own detox plan.

Finally, you know all the joyous, smiling, laughing, women you see on the street? The ones without a care in the world that are waving people to go in front of them at traffic lights and kissing the forehead of their beautiful, impeccably-dressed children patiently waiting in the mega-long Starbuck’s line? The ones who do not appear to have ANYTHING left on their To Do List?

Good news!

They are, either heavily medicated, returning from a boozy lunch with girlfriends or just decided to spend all the Christmas funds on Botox and highlights (probably all three!) ALSO, they have a nanny or au pair or assistant doing ALL the running around BUT buying all the WRONG sizes. Ta hee hee hee:)Ahhh, too bad.

Alright, so maybe their Christmas cards is to die for, they are legitimately happy, emotionally well-balanced, ORGANIZED and unmedicated. Remember, YOU are still a sweet, beautiful, dreamy super hero no matter how much you cough, cry, yell or crumble to the ground. And, by the way, everyone LOVES your Christmas card and thinks you look YOUNGER than ever:)