The Overworked Elf

There was no magical ‘Elf on the Shelf’ that had to get moved every bloody night when I was a kid. There was one night of mind-blowing magic, not 24. Now, I realize for some people, remembering that kind of thing is just like flossing (which I only started doing daily a few months ago) but not for us.

Pretty much every morning one of our two sons comes into the bedroom at 6:00 and says either with worry or judgment, “The elf didn’t move!” I know our youngest is thinking we probably have a defective one or he is sick or has been bitten by a tick or died in his sleep or something terrible. Our older boy is extremely suspect. It seems more than ironic that the elf moves after Mommy pees.

The story we have told them is that our elf (they call him Lucky) is just a little tired from working so hard and thinking up creative ideas for what Santa should give them for Christmas presents. He might be one of the hardest working elves at the shop and so uses this time here to just sneak in some extra sleep.

But, make no mistake. He is just a jolly as the other elves. Maybe even more jolly. And certainly funnier and better dressed, well, except for the stocking tear and missing nose.