Obstacles to Originality

Why have we reduced ourselves to box-checkers?

Most of us are ripping our hair out on a regular basis trying to keep it together. There’s what we have to do– you know to make the mortgage, not raise a bunch of hooligan children, and keep from getting arrested.

There’s what we aspire to do. Exercise daily. Eat more kale. Parent with patience (or at least less angst). Remember teacher appreciation day. Not blow a gasket when a whole bunch of wrenches get thrown into the finely choreographed schedule.

There’s what we should do. Clean out the kids’ closets AGAIN, start purchasing more eco-friendly cleaning products, not lie like a lizard soaking up vitamin D, learn how to whip up a snappier salad dressing. Oh, and vacuum the dog’s hairballs.

Is easy lazy?

Yes. And no. Depends on the task and the person.

Where you like to express your originality is key. I don’t make scratch cupcakes with butter icing. But I do make amazing dark chocolate almond bark. I don’t purchase the perfect notecards (yet) but I do write beautiful heart-felt letters.

There have to be some easy choices. Not everyone excels at everything. And yet, I think there have to be some some hard lines.

Personally, I draw the line at the ‘twenty-parent group thank you e-mail for children’s birthdays. I get being busy. Everyone is. But, there’s just something about the art of teaching the hand-written kind of gratitude that takes care and time that seems critical.

I have two friends in particular who go totally overboard with gratitude.

It makes me feel like the most special person in the world. One will go out and handpick a gorgeous double orchid.

One sends the most beautiful, thoughtful cards with eloquent, loving notes and fresh scented candles.

These happen to be two of the busiest people I know with three and five children. Not people twiddling their thumbs wondering what to do. Their kind of gratitude doesn’t just happen.

To be original takes time.

It takes thought, self-awareness, fearlessness and grace. There is no ‘one way’. There is no ‘right way’. There is no manual or guidebook or 5 Easy Steps.

Original is created with a style and substance that is unique. Uniquely yours.

Box-checking is faster.

Faster and easier.

But something vital gets lost. Something essential. Something that robs us of beauty and joy and love and the feeling that we matter.

Beyond what we can get done in a day, beyond what we accomplish and accumulate– there is something much greater at stake– the sense that who we are cannot be measured or predicted or assessed.

Our contribution to this world is original.

No one else has it to give. It is wildly precious. Distinctive. Meaningful. And worthy of the time we currently allow to get gobbled up by tasks and chores and boxes.

We have choices. They seem complicated because the culture is yelling at us all the time. Save time! Save money! Save your sanity! Here’s a quick easy way to thank you, happy 10^th anniversary, happy 50^th birthday, good luck in your new job, new house, new life.

The alternative requires grit, passion and unabiding belief in the deep truth of originality.

We can save time.

Or we can save that tiny inner flickering that is our soul.