WTF With the Sleep Injuries?

Shouldn’t certain time-slots be off limits?

It’s bad enough I continue to bump into the corners of granite countertops, car doors and coffee tables with my knees, elbows and hips.

And, oh yes, here’s a fun one.

There’s a weight-lifting move called the clean and press wherein you pull your weights up from a deep squat to a shoulder press over your head. The objective is not to ram the 12.5 pound weight into your forehead on the way up.

One would think I could at least be safe from myself while sleeping.

Wrong.

My most currently repetitive injury happens while I’m unconscious. Apparently, I have been lifting my arm in such a way that contorts my neck and shoulder so severely, I cannot fully turn my head right when I wake up.

It eases up a bit after coffee, Advil and an hour of irritable but gentle stretching.

But seriously?

Sleep, when you are able to get it with two dogs, two children and ongoing hot flashes should be about REM and dreams and possibly even… rest.

According to Joe, and keep in mind that he has an active imagination, when we were first dating, I used to gulp air in my sleep. Yes, actually open my mouth, inhale and swallow.

As if it was filled with spoonfuls of ice cream covered brownies.

I would deny this outright, but I did have a stomach specialist when I was younger suggest that my frequent cramping could be from excess swallowing of air. And get he did mention it could be happening in my sleep.

OTHER people do this as well? For real?

I asked Joe if I chewed the air before swallowing it. Apparently not.

I was going to ask around about this but I think there are certain things you are supposed to keep to yourself. Plus, I’m not so sure there is much awareness around this rare affliction.

Thankfully, I outgrew this in my thirties. Which brings me back to my mid-forties neck and shoulder sleep affliction. I have braved a few conversations around this topic, and turns out, I am not alone.

I wouldn’t call it a “hot” topic of conversation but the friends I spoke with, women and men, had the same you have GOT to be kidding me reaction. These are people used to sports injuries. And maybe, the occasional ‘bending over’ complications.

But SLEEP injuries?

I know have a somewhat complex pillow positioning arrangement with sheet and blanket layering tactics that I alter every couple hours depending on the hot flash to muscle ache ratio.

Ahh, the joys of growing up.