A Pre-Holiday Survival Strategy

Creating a Zoned Defense

We can pretend it is not upon us… but it is. Now, don’t get me wrong. I looooove the holidays. I feel rawther like Eloise in the Plaza this time of year.

We purchased our Christmas tree the day BEFORE Thanksgiving and every holiday item is hung, lit and strung inside and out. It looks festive and merry except for… our driveway entrance.

I tried to explain to Joe, who may take this season even more seriously than I do, that wreaths under AND cranberry collars circling the outdoor lanterns is a bit like wearing drop earrings with a chunky necklace. Ho-ho-no.

Especially if your lanterns have short necks.

Other than that… Tis the season… Falala… And joy to the world!

Until…

I remember… all the things I need to remember. Teachers presents, sending gifts to distant relatives. Picking out the perfect Secret Santa presents for work, purchasing thoughtful but versatile gifts for unexpected guests.

Not to mention… the range of personality-challenged elves.

There’s the volatile life is like a box of explosives elf, the passive aggressive “Ohhh, you made THAT…” elf, the self-absorbed “What could you possibly have to say that’s relevant to ME?” elf.

The variety is plentiful.

Sort of like the Santa-land land-mines.

Anyway, on to my point. Survival.

Joe and I attended Finn’s PPT (Planning and Placement Team) meeting earlier this week. Overall, it went amazing well. He has a superb team including the social worker.

Her strategy for working with kids who have trouble focusing is a highly acclaimed program called Zones of Regulation.

What are The Zones of Regulation?

The Zones teaches self-regulation by categorizing all the different ways we feel into four zones.  The Red Zone represents anger, rage, explosive behavior, devastation, or terror. It suggests we STOP.

The Yellow Zone signifies stress, frustration, anxiety, or nervousness. And asks us to exercise CAUTION. The Green Zone indicates we are happy, alert, content and calm. It says GO. The Blue Zone means we are sad, tired, sick, or bored. It advocates REST.

Note to self: I spend 50% of my time in Green but 100% on GO.

Our social worker was showing us the colored chart explained how we are teaching them to be able to get from here, she gestured to the yellow, red and blue areas, to here, and she pointed to the green.

In my most relaxed, non-desperate way, I asked, “And how exactly would you say, (pause) Finn, does that?”

Joe smiled and looked down shaking his head.

I literally could not for the life of me remember how one gets back to green from any of these other colors. It seemed like an impossible game of Twister where someone tweaks their back and is unable to move.

Sometime later that day it dawned on me.

Acceptance.

It is merely a place I have paused along my way.

While I love the color thematic being deftly aligned with traffic symbolism, I think there is something meaningful to be gained from a more telegraphically blunt, sarcastically impactful, zoned strategy.

Think of the zones we are surrounded by.

The No Parking Zone

You can tell you are in this zone if, for example, excessive neediness on anyone else’s behalf, makes you want to explode into a million pieces.

Or, say, your newly purchased slow cooker is defective and your needing to return it half an hour away makes you collapse to the ground in a sea of alternating tears and rage.

It is wise to know at these particular moments, you, as a person, constitute a No Parking Zone.

No one should park him or herself anywhere in your vicinity.

The fines are exorbitant and change hourly, depending on external factors like how many household residents have left their shoes, socks, winter coats and/or Nerf gun foam bullets all over the house.

Onward and upward…

The Sky Zone

Around our area of Connecticut, the Sky Zones are trampoline parks. And that is kind of the idea here.

This is the, shall we say, manic happy zone in which much caffeine has been consumed, a work-out executed without any pulled muscles, all synapsis are firing and the aggressive To Do List is feeling DOABLE because you feel POWERFUL.

It is unnerving to be around this state of mind unless you are in a similar zone.

Everything happens in fifth gear. Those operating below 4^th should stand back or run the risk of being stampeded.

Sometimes the forecast gets a little cloudy.

The Flood Zone

Overloaded. Overwhelmed. Overcome.

This is the “I’m watching your lips move but have no idea what you are saying…” state. The ditch on both sides of the No Parking AND Sky Zones.

Recognizable by a sense of resignation, despair and total exhaustion, this zone is frequently littered with empty ice cream pints and potato chip bags.

Finally, after the emotional merry-go-round of an average (pre-holi) day, sweetness returns.

The End Zone

Here lies the touchdown wherein you’ve downshifted from 5^th, shop vacuumed your way out of soggy and set up some healthy parking parameters.

Breathing is possible. Sleep is possible.

Even enjoyable, ungoal-oriented conversation may be possible.

My sister Kristin has a very effective strategy for holiday happiness. Lower your expectations and they’re less likely to get dashed.

I used to find this fairly depressing. It sounded like lowering your standards. But the older I get the more forgiving and accepting it sounds.

So, my current holiday strategy is NOT to score back-to-back touchdowns in the End Zone. It’s simply to clearly identify which zone I’m in and offer warnings where possible to people who may need a heads up.