Are You Having Fun?

Not tons?

Well, here are a few ideas for how to be less disgusted, bored and disappointed.

One: Get off the self-help treadmill.

I am constantly careening toward self-improvement. The trouble is you never actually arrive. The more you improve, the more messed up you realize you really are, so the more stressed out you become and the harder you have to hurtle yourself into the betterment abyss.

The fact is, no matter what kind of fast-track improvement course you polish off, no one ever greets you and says, “Congratulations. You have graduated. You’re done!”

Perhaps you’re already closer to perfect than most or totally unaware of your extensive shortcomings. Or, maybe you have limited time and you’d rather make money, dinner or an origami giraffe.

Regardless of your proclivity toward self-help, dollar signs, or paper folding, odds are high your fun factor would be better served by a David Sedaris essay, Ellen Degeneres skit or Far Side cartoon than “Finding Your Inner Self”.

Humor helps everything.

At some point you have to stop studying life and live it. Stop wishing you ate more kale and have a glass of pinot noir. Stop reading books on social-emotional parenting and take your kids out for ice cream. Stop analyzing how to be more present and get a manicure.

This segues nicely into the second suggestion.

Two: Don’t be so stingy with yourself.

Think buying fancy beautifully wrapped flower shop flowers for your self is kind of a self-indulgent unnecessary expense? And scheduling a massage before you throw your back out is extravagant?

Maybe yes. Maybe no. Who knows. Who cares.

Being prudent and practical is a huge yawning bore, so for goodness sake, indulge! Treat yourself to something more than the occasional Toblerone bar.

If you are already treating yourself to steak dinners, botox and spa girl week-ends, there are other ways to be stingy besides money.

Are you cheap with time?

I used to hurry home from my 6am class at the gym figuring if I did not return imminently, full-on chaos would erupt.

My carefully orchestrated plan wherein everyone practices everything they need to, reads, eats breakfast and gets to school on time would be traded in for Mincraft and Madden in pj’s.

However, knee, neck and hip issues forced me to take the whole rolling out thing more seriously. I used that small rolling ball on my neck leaning against the wall and I’m pretty sure extended my not-so-very-long neck by several inches.

It required letting go of the idea anyone would have followed my strongly requested schedule. But, when I returned, the children were dressed, fed and were practicing instruments.

I now take 30 luxurious minutes to roll and stretch after my class.

The trick to having fun is simply to make room for it.

Planning out “fun activities” always feels forced to me. Fun happens when you clear the way for it. So, although rolling out is not per se “fun”. If my body is relaxed and my thoughts are not consumed with how many Advil with how much wine is going to kill the pain, I am more likely to engage in a spontaneous dance party.

Three: Don’t analyze the number of wrinkles, pounds or years you’ve acquired.

Depressing, superficially-obsessed thoughts like these (which I continually beat out of my consciousness) severely diminish your odds of having fabulous sex, submitting to a romantic night of wine and cheese shaking your groove thing like a wild animal.