I Want To Be A Unicorn

This was my heart-felt pronouncement over the long weekend.

I was feeling, how to say, a bit house-bound and stir-crazy.

Joe: Why do you want to be a unicorn?

Me: I want that long (visual of me making a fist and extend it from the center of my forehead as far out as my arm would reach) horn thing.

Joe: What would you do with it?

Thoughtful pause… followed by a heartfelt stroke of brilliance.

Me: (smiling) Stab people with it, you know impale them… or at least boss them around for a while.

Reflective pause.

Joe: (not at all shocked) I think that is more rhino behavior my little stabbing princess.

Me: But I reeeeeeally want (flaring my fingers out from my eyes) those lashes! Can I at least have those? AND, I neeed (swishing my not so luxurious blond hair over my shoulder) that dramatic mane.

Joe: (sweet and lovingly) I think you are more like a rhino-corn.

Me: A what???

Joe: A rhinocorn.

Me: (laughing pretty hard) I am NOT a rhinocorn!

Leo: (chiming in from out of nowhere) Mommy is a rhinocorn, mommy is a rhinocorn…

Finn: What is a rhinocorn?

As Joe is explaining what a rhinocorn is and why mommy most definitely IS one I let them know that at least I’m not a donkey stallion like daddy.

This zoomorphic hybridization familial identification process took hours. It’s actually still in the revision process.

I cannot remember the last time I laughed that hard. There were debates over whether trolls and gnomes, elves, fairies, angels and slugs qualified with riveting arguments for and against.

Hybrid was too limiting for Finn so we created a kind of multi-brid. Leo ended up being my better half, a uninocerous, which everyone unanimously agreed I was too pushy to be allowed to switch to.

And, reluctantly, we gave Joe stallonkey, even though there was a lot of discussion about if he wasn’t really a donkallion.

My micro-illumination moment?

Sometimes, it is better to share your grumpy, grouchy evil thoughts with others because it opens all kinds of unusual, highly entertaining dialogue.

So, what animal hybrid are you?