On Behalf of Jesus

Sometimes we spice up our morning routine with a little Christianity.

We are more Buddhist than Christian, worship nature and animals more than most people and had to explain to our children what a church was not too long ago, BUT we are big fans of Jesus and try to incorporate him into our life every few months.

A few days ago, Joe was mixing tuna fish for a week’s worth of lunches. I was slicing apples and stuffing them with grapes and carrots into baggies. And the kids were seated at breakfast.

“Jesus said we don’t have to go to the alumni fundraiser”, I told him. “He said buying the tickets was enough.”

“Well, if Jesus says so,” Joe said. “You don’t have to twist my arm.”

Leo, our 9 year-old, stopped eating his Cheerios, sarcastically adding, “Really mom, Jesus called you up and told you that?”

“Of course not Leo. He doesn’t have to call me. He enters my head and talks directly.”

Finn, our 8 year-old, didn’t stop eating because despite repeated prompting and the fact he needs to be at school in less than 15 minutes, he hadn’t started. However, he smiled and nodding his approval adding, “Cooool!”

Joe shot me an incredulous look and shook his head.

He was right. Finn is likely to start listening for messages, or worse make them up and tell people, or worse yet, tell people Jesus talks to me.

The kids got into the car for school. Joe and I said good-bye to each other.

Our exchange went like this.

Me: Peace be with you.

Joe: Silence

Me: It’s a call and response, helloooo?

Joe: And also with you.

We kissed.

Joe: Howard Stern ripped Pat Robertson into an asshole yesterday after he told some poor woman with a deaf child over the phone that he had no idea what she was doing wrong. He’d cured plenty of deafs. You just have to cast out the spirit of deaf. Howard went ballistic. Well, why doesn’t he haul his fat ass over to The New York School for the Deaf and cast away.

Me: Jesus is going to be watching you today.