The Ultimate Power Play

Intuition works in surprisingly intentional ways. 

I started reading poetry to both boys when they were five and could easily be bribed by cozy blankets, switching the gas fireplace on and providing a big mug full of honey nut cheerios. So, metaphor (along with a craving for sugary cereal) got baked right into their brains early on.

About a year later, Leo, Finn and I started setting metaphorically grounded intentions for our day, every day on our ride to school. Six years later, both boys take the bus. But, when I drive Finn for early morning help, we still set intentions, alternating turns.

This morning was his turn, which I love, because I am always surprised, delighted and unsuspectingly… in desperate need of whatver he plucks out of the landscape, filters through his beautiful mindscape and delivers to us in the form of an intention for the day.

This morning he offered us two.

One.

When you see a dead end ahead…

that you know is going to take your day in a bad direction,

take a different path.

He started to cut himself off halfway through this intention because he thought he had a better one. I begged him to finish it, before moving on because I could literally feel my soul (and I am NOT being overdramatic using that word) needing him to finish that thought.

My mind had already zoomed off in every possible direction.

Here’s the thing with me and dead ends. I don’t trust them. Who gets to decide what’s a dead end? What constitutes a dead end anyway? We can’t live by what other people consider viable outlets, can we? And isn’t every end a new beginning? And is anything ever really dead? I still talk to my parents even though they are no longer on this plain of existence.

You can see now whyI needed Finn to finish this thought.

I couldn’t be left alone inside my head with all that rambling around. Plus, I can feel my soul being tired of my mind always trying to go wide, go long, go far…. enough… away… to escape committing to change.

In the name of practical lifestyle decision-making, financial security, emotional safety, fear of the unknown, fear of not being good enough, fear of all the unknowns that I will not be able to plan for, strategize about, or pre-solve.

I pass over using my REAL gifts so I can focus on my marketable skillsets.

But it would seem that, (given my last two posts as well), my integrity or soul or destiny or whatever one calls this magnetic sense of CALLING is on a collision course with my REAL gifts. And I could feel, that inside how Finn finished this tintention would be the permission I needed to enter a threshold of transformation and pause before choosing a different path.

As soon as he finished his first intention, I knew I would not be going into work today. And I knew this decision would be a pivotal in ways I could not imagine, affecting, in some way, the trajectory of my future.

Two.

Spread your happiness…

like a field of invasive bamboo.

I heard the first part of this and felt extremely thankful I had made him finish his first intention. Spreading happiness is nice, but not quite as actionable, especially if you are feeling slightly crusty and irritable.

But then… part two… WHAM! I did not see a field of invasive bamboo coming. And WHAT does that even mean? It got me excited, tingly and feeling like even I could do that. But how? And what?

We pass a rather large patch of bamboo on the way to school. Joe has told the boys many times he has no idea how the people were able to put it in or not forced to remove it as it is incredibly invasive and hard to control once it begins proliferating. Does anyone really want this kind of happiness?

Bamboo is not sweet or soft or flexible or pretty. It certainly ain’t no field of daisies. And kind of hard to find takers for invasive happiness. Who wants happiness that ‘spreads prolifically and undesirably… or ‘intrudes on a person’s thoughts or privacy’… Yikes.

I LOVE paradox and irony. A lot. But this exceeds my wildest understanding.

So, I do what I always do– dig in. Start researching. And it becomes crystal clear in a matter of seconds. Bamboo is a giant woody grass that grows chiefly in the tropics, where it is widely cultivated. So, it is not at all invasive in its’ homeland. In fact, it is cultivated. 

Bamboo is fantastically useful. It can be used to make flooring, chopsticks, paper, salad bowls, furniture, etc. It is used to make so many varieties of products because it is one of the fastest growing plants in the world.

I am prolific. I am a useful. I too have trouble being contained. Introduce me into environments that don’t seek to expand and grow and transform and I very likely come across as invasive. But once I find my tropics, I just know I will flourish.

As an added bonus message from Finn’s psyche to mine, bamboo has a hollow jointed stem, reminding me that that inner space is fundamentally part of my essence, part of what allows it to be strong.

Finn was so fun this morning and there was a good amount of traffic and I had the option of being frustrated that I would be late for my spin class or focus on his sprite-like joy. So, prior to his brilliant intentions I had given myself this one.

Consider obstacles, like the unwanted traffic in your brain,

as an opportunity to shift from circumstantial frustration,

to empowering new possibilities.

It is such an obvious choice, but old habits die hard.

We think of habits as more related to activities and behaviors. Going to the gym. Or not. Eating pints of ice cream before bed. Or not. Writing thank you notes. Or not. Practicing drums or lacrosse or theatre lines. Or not. Stepping up to creative challenges. Or not.

To do or not to do… that seems to be where we look to make changes.

But aren’t all these choices governed by our beliefs about who we are?

About what we are capable of, what we deserve and at the most fundamental level if we are even worthy of this kind of bold consideration. Often, for me, it is easier (read safer and more comfortable) to feel stuck as a result of my inability to change a situation or a person’s response to what I am saying.

I was very upset with someone this morning, and I could not figure out, no matter how many options I considered, how to handle it. How not to silent myself nor be passive aggressive, cold, bratty or fake. Here’s what completely shifted my entire ability to handle the situation.

What if instead of focusing on how to say NO to you (whoever or whatever ‘you’ may be), I focus on what I would need to do to say YES to me. To what feeds me. Makes me happy. Makes me feel alive and connected to the world. Like singing dueling Bruno Mars lyrics with Finn instead of being irritated I may miss my spin class.

Like considering that… what may be invasive in one place is cultivated in another… that  dead ends are actually invitations to pivot left.

That sometimes a small shift in perspective… can lead to a seismic shift in well-being.