When Life Gets Overwhelming

Take it 200 yards at a time

I read this great article almost a decade ago now about a guy who was traveling cross country and got trapped in one of the worst snow storms in history. The conditions were practically whiteout.

But his daughter was having a baby. Planes had ben cancelled. And he was determined. What he said he learned was this: You just have to take it 200 yards at a time.

This struck me as such an amazing metaphor for life.

So, I did what any self-respecting lyricist would do. I turned it into a lyric and then my song-writing partner, Michael Maxwell, brought it to musical life.

It didn’t make our first album, From There to Here, and was going to lead the second but life took us in different directions before we could make that happen.

The song came back to me this week as Joe and I are currently struggling with what to do about our son Finn’s impulse and ADHD issues.

They are not severe. But they are there.

His teacher gives me that look at least twice a week and we get notes or calls from the social worker every other month. He is always deeply regretful and sad for impulsive decisions that hurt other peoples feelings. He does not feel willful.

The same way my utter exhaustion at that time of the month is not a sign of my innate laziness.

It is a long road, potentially a life road. And it feels very overwhelming.

We are about to engage in a daily mindful awareness practice once school is over. We have talked often about how anger and sadness are something we feel. WE are not angry. We FEEL anger. It is separate.

But who the hell cares if you can’t get that into your body?

But maybe it just takes a little longer.

But what if he we wait too long and his friends ostracize him which leads to insecurity and lack of confidence?

But, what if we give up too soon?

But what if by waiting we are handicapping him by not giving him the medicine he needs to make his life easier.

But life isn’t all about making everything easier. Some things are worthy of struggle

You wouldn’t tell a kid who has asthma to just suck back oxygen harder.

But what about addiction and potential long-term side effects we don’t know about? Will he have to go into rehab at twenty to get off the drugs we started him on? Or will he thank us?

You get the idea.

Medication has never been on the table. I have a love/hate relationship with the idea of it. I want to believe we can talk or meditate our way through things. And yet I’m not so sure that ALONE would have worked to get my husband or mother through cancer.

I have close friends who swear anti-depressants have changed their lives and parent friends who’ve said ADHD drugs have changed their children’s lives.

The adults I know who attempt to treat serious psychological problems through diet and herbs ALONE are deeply unhappy and judgmental of the pharmaceutical world that might be able to help them.

But, as a country we are too quick to drug problems.

There is no right answer. No one answer. There are only individual responses based on each child and their parents.

We all do the best we can with the information we are given.

And sometimes it is a matter of just taking it 200 yards at a time.

One of the interesting things as a writer is that I seem to send myself messages through time in different books and songs.

This song is certainly one. It makes me smile to be served up advice from my earlier self. I have included the lyrics and MP3 if anyone is interested.

200 Yards At A Time

My intentions set me free

Cause it’s just not up to me

There’s a world of opportunity

An endless breathing sea…

 

There’s a delta that’s in my life

and I’m trying to get it right

trying to get across this continental fear

gather up my love and leave beyond the tears

200 yards at a time…

it just takes a little more time

 

You can make it anywhere you want to go…

through the dead of night in the blinding snow.

You can make it anywhere you want to be…

through a thunderstorm of irony.

200 yards at a time

it just takes… a little more time.

 

My intentions set me free

Cause it’s just not up to me

There’s a world of opportunity

An endless breathing sea…

 

There’s a monumental divide

And I keep trying to get inside

Dive into my heart move beyond my mind

Leap into this dream step outside the line

200 yards at a time

It just takes a little more time.

 

You can make it anywhere you want to go…

through the dead of night in the blinding snow.

You can make it anywhere you want to be…

through a thunderstorm of irony.

200 yards at a time

it just takes… a little more time.