X-treme Balance

“F” keeping them math and reading ready for September

“F” academics. And trying to make the tediously boring– fun. “F” the big important master plan to have them set for success in the Fall. And filling up their free time like they’re a leaky gas tank and won’t make it were they need to go on half a tank.

While we’re at it… “F” a lot of things.

Like lacrosse game schedules that change every other day, kids whose parents let them leave band practice early to watch their favorite TV shows and teachers who lecture you for a little too long about mild behavior issues. What the “F”?

The problem with balance is balance!

Divide up school, homework, long-term projects, band, sports, art class, swimming, homework, and practicing for all these things  and you have… balance.

Not exactly inner peace but an even distribution of insanity.

What about life? And feeding the spirit?

And nature and creativity and fun and meandering through the backyard until you bump into brilliance. Until miracles start unfolding at an alarming rate right before your eyes.

Not enrolling in another camp or planning another educational field trip. Not accomplishing tasks or to do’s or embedding knowledge but finding our way back to being astonished by what surrounds us that we never see.

An ant piggy-backing on a worm. The fallen pink petals of a peony that look like butterfly wings in the dark mulch. How the rust stains on the wheelbarrow look like hieroglyphics. What do they say?

What is the message?

Last night at dinner we switched up our “Name Three Favorite Things about the Day” to “Name Three Things You are Grateful for Today”. They ended up being the same BUT there was something subtlely empowering about framing out WHAT we notice in appreciation.

I read something a while back, that talked about the fact appreciation means both gratitude AND increasing value.

So by appreciating what we notice we increase its value.

The more highly we value what genuinely brings us joy or feels like love or is steeped in freedom or fun or inner knowing, the more we value WHO we are over what we HAVE or what we DO.

So “F” basing our summer around higher-level accomplishments, polishing up lacrosse skills and building toward a brighter future.

We have right now!

And one day we won’t. So cliché. But, as anyone who has lost anyone knows, true.

It is no easy task to be sure. It means letting go of not measuring up. Even worse, our kids not measuring up. What the hell does that mean again? I keep placing my order, wolfing down the swirling puffs of cotton candy anxiety and feeling sick.

And then I remember: Oh yeah, that’s right, it’s bullshit!

It makes my heart race, my chest tighten, my throat close, my blood race and my eyes overflow. I am not cut out for it.

It goes against everything I know in my heart to be true.

I just get so scared that who I am and what I stand for may not be the best way to serve our boys. And then, there is the productivity-centric way I was raised that I revert back to in times of intense stress or fear.

But this summer I am going to try my best to say, “F” FEAR!

And embrace what FEELS good. For me. For Leo. For Finn. And for Joe. No should’s. No have to’s. No need to’s.

Whatever makes our spirit come alive.

Whatever helps us dive more deeply into who we are inside.

I started out thinking this meant no I-screens. And then I realized if they want to shoot their own short video or create their own game based on their vision, YES!

Yes to anything that helps them hear, see, feel or express who they are and what they love. Those facts seem far more important than comparable fractions and reading with greater fluency and accuracy.

Sometimes balance is a matter of extremes.

Meander. Frolic. Be. Appreciate. Repeat.

This is our summer mantra.