Life Overlaps

Are you a pitch-back or goal?

Two years ago, our son Leo who was seven, told me he thought he and I were goals and his dad and Finn (younger brother) were pitch-backs. Fascinated and having no idea what he meant I asked.

“Well”, he said, “things bounce off Dad and Finn. Nothing really bothers them. But you and I, we kind of take things all the way in… to heart.

Totally excited and amazed at the clarity of the metaphor, I chimed in, “And then,” I said, “we have to figure out how to get all that stuff out!”

Perhaps it’s this time of year or having a long-lasting sinus infection or just my extremely sensitive nature, but I feel lately, like I am taking a lot in. And I’m not quite sure what to do with it all.

I try not to cry at the gym, because, well, it makes people nervous. But this morning, I had no choice. I was exhausted. It all came unexpectedly crashing down. And i wondered what is it?

Here’s what happens. Life overlaps.

This morning for me, it looked like this.

I stew over a gym girl glaring at me to move cause I’m in her spot. I move. Do ten thousand jumping jacks… have shortness of breath because although I am thrilled and relieved our friend found her dog, I am deeply sad we never did.

I do five hundred burpees… not sure why a friend hasn’t responded to my kind note… do eighty trillion shoulder presses… replay the Taliban massacring a school full of children and teachers. I can barely breathe… a condition unaided by crying with a sinus infection and no tissues. I do a gatrillion weighted squats… wish my mom was still here… worry we are not carrying on her grace and elegance and beauty.

I can barely breathe… a condition unaided by crying with a sinus infection and no tissues. I keep exercising, worry this decision makes me officially psychotic, but know if I don’t I may break entirely and be unable to attend our sons holiday sing-along.

Life overlaps again.

Home. No shower. Velvet jacket because my mom would have. Fluffed hair. Drive to elementary school.

My dear friend and the unknowing muse of my last two posts, sits beside me. She puts her arm around me and with eyes full of warmth and caring, says she is so happy to see me.

My body relaxed… my shoulders… even the forged joy on my face.

Often, I spend a lot of time trying how to get all those balls out of my goal. I forget that sometimes it is not about getting them out, but letting in something much bigger.

Love.

Wishing whoever may read this, lots of love this holiday.

Photo Credit: KRM; a French-German artist collective duo, known otherwise as Chérif and Geza. Together they create imaginary walls on wood and their concept and style, also known as ‘Esprit Du Mur’, is a rebellious, urban art, based on human tragedy and the complexity of existence.