Three Tips for Personal Peace this Holiday

Family gathered around a roaring fire with swirly glasses of Pinot Noir or small mugs of hot chocolate is an excellent start. But, for a lot of us, the holidays are a little more complicated.

I know personally I go into uber-efficient mode, try not to miss a day of exercise and muscle my way through it. But I always feel like, in my desire to get it done, and make it fabulous, I forget about the things that can’t be stuffed, packed, wrapped or baked.

I forget to take care of my emotional peace of mind, which I assure you, is of benefit to everyone.

Invite The Spirits

No joke. The people and animals no longer with us, at least physically, take up a lot of emotional space this time of year.

Mostly, it fills us with sadness. Or we keep the feelings at bay in an attempt to be joyous. But, they are there. So, just as an experiment, what if we invited ALL of them to be with us for the whole month? The dogs and cats, parents and children – even the goldfish and pet turtles?

What if we created a ritual around the invitation, like Peppermint Lattes with our Spirit Explorers. We could tell them all the things we love about them and ask if they’d be willing to set the table with us, stay for dinner, help with the menu, wait on line with us at Stop & Shop.

Even just the picture of my mom, our dogs Wally and Pablo, my grandfather and all the others standing next to me at check-out reading People magazine and playing with the Santa Pez dispensers is enough to make me smile.

If we include them early on, perhaps we won’t feel so much like something is missing or we have forgotten something.

At least that’s what I’m hoping. We’re going to give it a shot this year.

Create Peace Island

This is a space you can go to if it all gets to be too much and you need a time-out.

It’s a chair or the corner of a couch or behind a closed door on the bathtub edge. Where is up to you. If you’re going somewhere new this year, visualize the feeling ahead of time and scout out the exact spot upon arrival.

The important part is that you designate a spot ahead of time and establish it as the place you can go to experience complete peace.

No one can bother you there.

Should they ask when desert is? Or where the dog is? Or, if you’ve seen the children lately? Just respond, not sure, taking a quiet moment. Quiet is enough to make most people walk away.

So when five people are all asking you questions at the same time and your dog just wagged the full glass of red wine onto the brand new zebra rug, walk away – slowly.

Try not to sprint.

As you walk away, treat yourself to a luxurious, stress-free flight. (It may be the only one you ever have:) Picture yourself flying to your chosen island on a (joy-fueled) G5 jet. Your seat is back. You’re eating warm macadamia nuts. You’re still walking… a little lighter now. Someone out of sight is scurrying around with Seltzer water. You arrive.

Stay as long as you like.

The odd thing is, just knowing Peace Island is there, simply looking at it from across the room makes some of the drama, a little less dramatic.

Become an Anthropologist

For those of us who are more introverted or sensitive the holidays can sometimes be a little socially overwhelming. There’s a lot of collective love.

There are also a lot of individual energies swirling around, each with their own challenges, triumphs, and uniquely manifested neurosis. Including our own!

Since we can’t get physical distance from the holiday we are hosting or attending a little emotional distance goes a long way.

What if we become anthropologists? Observe these earthly people we call family? This December ritual called Holidays? And most importantly this fascinating entity we call me?

It’s better than Saturday night live!